


first love

by dietmobu



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, M/M, ash is finally happy, part 2 ash lives asf, uhm its ash's death but i wrote it in a way where ash was happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dietmobu/pseuds/dietmobu
Summary: Ash experiences dying, and it's the happiest he's ever been.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	first love

It was warm.

That’s the first thing Ash noticed. How warm he was. He’s never felt this comfortable, never in his life has he felt so peaceful. It was blissful- that’s the word, it was  _ bliss  _ and it washed over him like golden rain, like a steaming shower of rain dripping down him. His limbs felt so heavy, like they were filled with sand, each step was like wading through lava and he  _ loved  _ it. He loved it- it hurt so intensely and yet he felt no pain at all. Just bliss, just bliss with each throbbing gush of warm, saccharine blood slipping past his fingers.

He was so happy. He was so happy, as he collapsed into the familiar library chair, so happy as he languidly dropped his lovers letter on the table. So happy as his bright red blood coated the ink, smudging some words. So happy as the blood, red like deep wine and endless seas, dripped from his gut onto the floor, soaking his shirt. Each drop took him farther and farther from despair, closer and closer to the happiness he felt so strongly he could melt like butter. He cried without effort, like his body was thanking this death’s embrace, like his eyes were letting themselves express every inch of his gratitude.

Death. He’s resisted death for so long, an endless brawl against death. An endless fight, his body pulled limb from limb with every near encounter. He fought so hard to avoid death that letting it take him was beautiful. Oh it was  _ beautiful.  _ It was a million colors, a million honeyed sunsets, a million warm smiles and bubbly laughs. It was like he was free, like he had grown wings from his back and was soaring. Death was so peaceful, so angelic. Death was the most incredible feeling, he thought.

“He must be having a nice dream,” said a woman’s voice far away, and if he could move any part of himself, he would have told her  _ yes, yes. I am feeling so happy, Miss. I am feeling so free. _

Slowly, like falling in love, slowly sleep wrapped him up. It pulled him down, and down, and he had no remorse. No regret for this experience- he had never felt so amazing in his life. Sleep took him over, and sleep hugged him and kissed his cheeks, and sleep sang to him songs so intricate instruments would break trying to capture it. Sleep caressed his hair and filled him to the brim. It had never felt so good. He had never been so happy. He let himself sleep, smiling.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i ate chicken mcnuggets before writing this <3 comments and kudos would be sweet so drop those if u liked my writing


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